What is The Stories of Smirtz About?
Our book is entitled ‘The Stories of Smirtz’ but you’ve likely already seen or heard that somewhere.
(We deem it somewhat unlikely that you sat down at your computer and wondered: “Let’s see what pops up when I type: www.smirtz.com.” But if that’s the case, we stand corrected and applaud your courage in exploring all obscure corners of the internet.)
A Funny Book for the Entire Family
It’s not your conventional children’s book. In fact, it might even be wrong to call it a ‘children's book,’ as it aims to make readers of all ages laugh.
So, if we’re to describe our book in one word, it would be this: ‘A Comedy’ (Okay, that’s technically TWO words, but you get the idea.)
And now you’re probably wondering: “Who writes a comedy these days?” Well… we did!
Who is Smirtz?
Smirtz is 11 years old and can best be described as the happiest, but also the most confused, boy in the world.
And although he sometimes finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time, his heart is in the right place … all the time.
Smirtz is always willing to help, and he always tries to do the right thing. However, despite his good intentions, he and his friends always end up in a lot of trouble.
But Smirtz and his buddies are nothing if not resourceful and creative when it comes to solving any situation they find themselves in … no matter how crazy and far-out it may seem. For example, when “using a taxidermized fish to defend themselves,” or when “racing through the streets of London in electric toy cars,” or when “trying to rescue a toddler from a cage filled with monkeys.”
(Regarding the “toddler in the monkey cage”; don’t worry, no toddlers or monkeys were harmed when writing this book. They all have a great time! Smirtz on the other hand …. eh … not so much.)
The Crazy Narrator (Educational … to an extent)
As we wrote the book, we thought it would be best to have a narrator take you through all the stories. However, the twisted minds of this family could not resist also making the narrator a bit smug, erratic, and self-centered.
So, besides guiding you through the stories, the narrator also occasionally weighs in with personal thoughts, explanations, and anecdotes addressed directly to “you,” … the reader. These “direct addresses” are always written in the same special format and typography, to make this clear to the reader (as you may have seen in the sample chapter here: Sample Chapter).
Some of these interjected narrator comments are true – and may even provide useful facts that could come in handy at school – while others are a bit odd, and some comments are simply bizarre and completely unhinged. (Don’t worry. It will be clear when it’s school-worthy information and when it’s just nonsense.)
Some of the important, yet perhaps less accurate, life lessons from the narrator include considerations about:
“Why it’s so rewarding to correct other people.” (For example, when someone talks about ‘Frankenstein’ and they actually mean ‘Frankenstein’s monster’.)
“How the ‘mechanical bull’ was invented.” (And more importantly... Why?)
“What the ballet Swan Lake is, sort of, about.” (Apparently, it’s also an epic space adventure.)
“And if a child is granted three wishes by a genie, how should it use them according to the parents.” (And no … “World peace” and “Finding true love” are not among them.)
The narrator is also the one who takes it upon himself to explain strange and paradoxical adult behavior directly to the reader, as this example from chapter 3 shows:
Isn’t it funny how adults sometimes think that kids won’t notice the unspoken signals that grown-ups send each other? Signals they think are subtle, but actually are super obvious. Like the “blinking” and “winking” of an eye, from one grown-up to another.
What’s that about? As if a child won’t notice all that exaggerated winking.
But hey … why not have some fun with it?
Next time you see an adult do that to another adult, just ask: “What’s wrong with your eye? Why is it flickering? Did you get something in it?”
They’ll probably get flustered and mumble something like: “It’s nothing,” while trying to change the subject.
But don’t let them off the hook!
Now’s your chance to double down and say something even more intense like: “What do you mean ‘it’s nothing’? I clearly saw you blinking. Should we call a doctor?”
And if you’re in a public place, like a supermarket, you can even start shouting: “Is there a doctor who can help us? Please, WE NEED A DOCTOR!” ... and so on.
Use your imagination to find other ways to make the poorly signaling grown-ups wildly uncomfortable. Good times for everyone.
Meet Some of the Crazy Characters in The Stories of Smirtz
Smirtz doesn’t have any siblings, but he does have a lot of friends, including a real best friend called Heinrich.
Smirtz and Heinrich are in the same class at school alongside their friends Eric and Tinka.
Eric comes from a very rich family … (a very, VERY rich family, according to Eric) and can be a bit annoying at times, although still a good friend.
Tinka is a super cool, strong, quick-witted, smart, and very sweet girl … (a very, VERY sweet girl according to Smirtz, although he will admittedly deny this if ever asked.)
Smirtz’s parents are simply called ‘Smirtz-Mom’ and ‘Smirtz-Dad’ in the book. (We know, we know… that’s just “lazy writing”. The narrator also points that out on several occasions.)
Smirtz-Mom works as a scientist in a lab, where she brings Smirtz and Heinrich along in one of the chapters (she chose … poorly). She’s also very interested in ‘healthy cooking’ with eel and cabbage (which has an … ‘acquired taste’ according to Smirtz-Dad).
Other wacky characters are introduced along the way, like Baby Jasper who, despite the name, is a toddler and he loves destroying fine art and getting Smirtz into trouble.
Baby Jasper’s fancy parents are also quite the handful, with a snooty attitude toward everything and everyone around them, yet with a liking for all things “vintage.”
The book also features two animals who become integrated and important members of the children’s entourage: Benny (Smirtz’s hamster) and the old mandrill (a wise old monkey).
Although he doesn’t appear until the last four chapters, the children’s lovable – but sometimes very eccentric – teacher, Erling, takes on a commanding presence in these stories as well. He has an aptitude for imaginary roleplaying in true Lord of the Rings style. He’s a man who can take a simple school trip to London and turn it into a full-scale quest…whether anyone asked for it or not.(Especially when arriving atBuckingham Palace). Convincedhe’spart educator, part heroic knight, he deliversgrand speeches, bold decisions, and just enough chaos to keep things…shall we say‘memorable.’Yet somehow, against all odds, his confidenceand‘knightpersona’neverdissolves…even when absolutely everything elsearound himdoes.
Other honorable mentions include:
- The fitness couple (the ‘big bodybuilder’ and the ‘fitness influencer-slash-entrepreneur’ described in the sample chapter),
- Smirtz’s Uncle Günther and Aunt Gertrud (and their giant taxidermized fish: ‘The General’), as well as
- Mrs. Leeharp from Smirtz-Mom’s book club (who had a very exquisite hat … until she met Smirtz!)
While these characters (and others) appear in the stories throughout the book, many of them reappear in the final three chapters, which serve as a ‘Grand Final Trilogy’, where everything (and everyone) culminates in complete chaos. This trilogy follows Smirtz and his friends at one event: a ‘Renaissance Fair’. (Obviously, that’s when it’s Erling’s time to shine!)
The Layout, Illustrations etc.
It’s written as a conventional book with about 300 pages, so that’s perhaps a bit unusual for a book that’s also aimed at children and young adults. But hey, ‘unusual’ is our middle name. (No, it’s not…)
Furthermore, it’s entirely written by the three of us, meaning no external input for the writing or translation. Also, there aren’t many illustrations; just one at the beginning of every chapter, each drawn by hand by the youngest (Arendse), who also made the cover. This means no AI to help with the writing or drawings.
And that’s also why the writing, drawing, and translation process has taken so many years, as we’ve insisted on doing this ourselves from the ground up.
After finishing the manuscript, we engaged with a web designer to help with this website, a layout expert to help set up the book (including cover), and a proofreader to ensure our grammar etc. was on point. (We swear… if we ever hear the terms “Oxford comma placement rules” and/or “have to discuss when to use a semicolon to introduce a quote,” so help us… we will lose our minds!).
If you want to read more about us and our book-writing journey, you can do that here.
The Perfect Book for Family Reading Time and Family Book Clubs (Especially for “Nerdy Parents”)
So, as we mentioned, our target audience is basically… everyone!
Whether you’re a kid going through the book or a parent reading it to a child, all should be able to enjoy the experience.
Yes, we do know that this goes against all conventional writing/publishing/social media ‘wisdom’ that normally dictates: “You have to have a clear target audience,” and “You have to have a clear niche.”
Well, that might generally be the right approach, but since we’re a family who’s never done anything “by the book,” then why should we start when “writing a book”?
So, in our humble opinion, this is the perfect book for “Family Reading Time” and/or “Family Book Clubs.” (Actually, we have a blog post about this: “The Stories of Smirtz: The Perfect Book for Family Reading Time or a Family Book Club.”)
In other words: The ideal book for the whole family to read together.
Especially if you, like us, are a family who enjoys movies, series, books, and role-playing campaigns (i.e. if you’re a nerdy parent) … Well, then this is the book for YOU!
(Oh, and we ALSO have a blog post about this which you can read here: “Calling All Nerdy Parents.”)